Astonishingly, not only do I genuinely have a bucket list – an amalgamation of disparate things that I want to experience or achieve in my life – I’ve actually done a lot of things on that list. At some point last year I emerged in a billow of steam from the sauna of everyday life, pleasantly dazed and lavishly embellished with a fluffy towel, long enough to realise that I’d done so many of the things that I would have to make a new list.
(more…)Philosophy
Snowboarding, or What I Learned From Doing Something I’m Not Very Good At
As an alarming global pandemic sweeps through every nation like a brisk autumn wind we have all found ourselves, alas, with a lot of time to kill. Except, of course, medical professionals who have all kinds of apocalyptic hell on their hands, and may we all utter a silent optionally religious prayer for those poor, overworked souls. What I have on my hands, apart from residue of soap and hand sanitiser, is the abrupt void of nothingness that comes with a mandatory government-enforced holiday to write all the articles I never got around to at the time when they happened and, boy, do you have some delightful reminiscing coming your way, my dear reader. Let me fetch my half moon glasses, recline suitably in my chesterfield armchair, and take you via a progressively blurry scene transition all the way back to seven months ago when I went snowboarding for the first time.
(more…)YOLO
Ah, yes, the great philosophical principles of life. Confucianism, Just War theory, Altruism, Human Rights, Feminism… and YOLO. People laugh when I rationalise my undertakings with a casual shrug and a simple, “YOLO”. They laugh because it’s amusing, and perhaps a bit unexpected, to use dubious internet terminology to guide important decisions in life like entering a half marathon, dying my hair radical new colours, and making plans for my future. Things weren’t always this way, though. What started out as someone’s semi-serious joke at my expense, challenging me to exit my mundane, cautious existence has become a doctrine so integrated into my life that I can’t imagine going back to whatever it was that I was doing before I ate YOLO for breakfast.
(more…)And Now For Something Completely Different
Oh hey there, welcome back. If you’ve just joined us, have a seat. We’re doing something different in this episode of Bella’s Odyssey. We’re departing the present moment to amble down the narrow path through the forest of time, between moss-covered trees and overgrown shrubs way back to my roots, not quite where it all began but somewhere along the way. We’re parting the fern fronds of my character to peer with the curiosity and wonder of a more politically correct 19th century explorer at what has influenced me not just as a writer but also as a human.
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Instagram. What an absolutely fascinating place. Despite not being a user of platform until recently, I’ve been secretly admiring the filters on Instagram for some time. I saw people’s Insta posts dotted around in other locations on the internet and hatched a theory that the filters can make any old crap look good. Like, really, any old random, unimportant, aesthetically jarring rubbish. You don’t even need the slightest inkling of photography skills, just a phone and the urge to take photos of, well, whatever you darn well please. Whoever made those filters is a Goddamn genius. GENIUS, I tell you.
(more…)Flexin’
I’ve recently discovered ‘flexing’. What is that, you ask? I’m not convinced that anyone really knows for sure but I think it’s very amusing. Flexing, or maybe I should call it ‘flexin’, isn’t the thing that happens when you tense your muscles – well, it is the thing that happens when you tense your muscles, but that’s not the kind of flexin’ that I’m talking about. What I’m talking about translates to ‘showing off’; flaunting your material wealth and using this as a barometer to demonstrate to others how worthy you are as a person. It’s not a new concept and the term ‘flexin’ has been around for ages, but I should state that the cutting edge of culture (especially American culture) doesn’t reach me at the rock under which I live until way after the event, so if you already know what I’m talking about you’re probably thinking “Pfff, gurl where you been?”
(more…)Disappointing Things About Being an Adult
When I was little, I was excited about the prospect of adult life. I envisaged a whole world of adventure and possibility, no bed time and no one around to tell you what to do. Adults seem like they have their shit together. Things make sense to them and they know about stuff and, as a kid, I wanted some of that for myself. Being a kid is tough. No one takes you seriously, you have to do what people tell you and and you’re really small so there are many things you need help with, like opening impossible crisp packets and the vexing task of tying your shoelaces. Plus you have to go to school, which, for me, anyway, was a confusing, terrible place that felt like a twelve-year prison sentence. So I longed for the day I could burn my school uniform and do what I wanted in the world of grown-ups.
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