Have you ever wondered why the British drink tea so much? Perhaps you think that we’re obsessed with this strange beverage with its oriental origins and milky additives. Well, we are. You see, tea is more than a drink to us. It’s a way of life. Let me explain.(more…)
Instagram. What an absolutely fascinating place. I’ve been secretly admiring the filters on Instagram for some time; even though until recently I wasn’t on the platform I saw people’s Insta posts dotted around in other locations on the internet and I hatched a theory that the filters can make any old crap look good. Like, really, any old shit. No photography skills necessary, just a phone and the urge to take photos of, well, whatever you darn well please. Whoever made those filters is a Goddamn genius. GENIUS, I tell you.(more…)
I’ve recently discovered ‘flexing’. What is that, you ask? I’m not convinced that anyone really knows for sure but I think it’s very amusing. Flexing, or maybe I should call it ‘flexin’, isn’t the thing that happens when you tense your muscles – well, it is the thing that happens when you tense your muscles, but that’s not the kind of flexin’ that I’m talking about. What I’m talking about translates to ‘showing off’; flaunting your material wealth and using this as a barometer to demonstrate to others how worthy you are as a person. It’s not a new concept and the term ‘flexin’ has been around for ages, but I should state that the cutting edge of culture (especially American culture) doesn’t reach me at the rock under which I live until way after the event, so if you already know what I’m talking about you’re probably thinking “Pfff, gurl where you been?”(more…)
When I was little, I was excited about the prospect of adult life. I envisaged a whole world of adventure and possibility and no one around to tell you what to do. When you’re a kid, adults seem like they have their shit together and things make sense to them and they know about stuff and I wanted some of that for myself. Make no mistake: being a kid is tough. You have to do what people tell you and no one takes you seriously and you’re really small so there’s loads of stuff you can’t do by yourself. Plus you have to go to school, which is a cruel and confusing place.(more…)
You know what I’m completely sick of? Seeing those ‘inspirational’ quote posters, but when you read the quote it quickly becomes apparent how utterly meaningless and hollow it is, like the soul of a career politician. They’re complete rubbish; an eel in the desert makes more sense.
People go mad for them at the moment. They’re littering social media like rubbish on a hot day at the beach. But here’s the thing: I’m convinced that people are pretending to understand them in order to make themselves seem cool and inspirational. Those people share them on their social media, thinking “Ah, yes, everyone will see how cool and deep I am when they see this intellectual, philosophical shit” not realising (or caring?) that the words are empty and the quote makes no sense.
Alarmingly, though, the act of people sharing the quote legitimises the poster’s meaning as something does makes sense: if loads of people claim to understand it, then it becomes something that can be understood. Even if the quote is still meaningless, and those people are probably lying.
It reminds me of when people use long words because they want to show how clever they are but in reality they don’t fully understand the words and so end up using them in the wrong context and essentially looking like a complete knob.
Even more annoying is when the quotes are from people that no one’s heard of (again, I’m sure they’re made-up people) but the fact that they’re being quoted makes it seem like their nonsensical opinion matters and you should care. You shouldn’t care. Don’t even think about caring.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a sucker for a cool font and a bit of bokeh nature photography but, I mean, shit, will people write literally anything just to get a few likes on Instagram?
To be fair to inspirational posters, there are many out there that contain quotes that are indeed uplifting but, unfortunately, as is the case with so many good things in life, the idiots have capitalised on the idea and filled the pot with rubbish.
I realise that I’m probably swimming upstream here and should perhaps just get over myself. The internet has become a place where anyone’s ridiculous, ill-informed opinion is accepted (including mine!) and that’s just how it is in the 21st century. So, I made my own inspirational poster:
Pancake day is the most underrated public holiday. It’s so underrated, in fact, that it’s not even a public holiday! Quite frankly it’s outrageous. I mean, how is everyone supposed to properly appreciate the mighty pancake while at work all day? I need a day off to do that. And don’t give me that lemon and sugar crap. If the only pancake you’ll have is Goddamn lemon and sugar then you don’t deserve a day off on pancake day. People who only eat lemon and sugar pancakes are the same people who drive at 35 miles an hour everywhere and wear factor 57 suncream and buy Flora because they’re worried about cholesterol. Good grief, take a risk for once in your life. Try a different fucking pancake.
As you can see, the pancake issue is one close to my heart. I love those doughy delights. I have pancakes for dinner all the time; they were the first thing I ever learned to cook back when I was a wee lass. I like the thin crepes and I like the thick, fluffy American-style ones. I like the savoury ones and the sweet ones. I’m not pancake-ist.
The issue is how underrated they are, and how every year, on pancake day, people say “Pancakes are great, I don’t know why I don’t have them more often.”
I don’t know, why don’t you have them more often?
So my message is this: have a pancake on pancake day. Have a pancake on any day! In fact, have two pancakes. Have a spinach and ricotta pancake, or a creamy mushroom pancake, or a Mexican-style one. For dessert, have one with morello cherries, or nutella and banana. Feel joyous. Life is good. There are pancakes to be had.
The fruits of today’s labour at work (I promise I do do actual work while I’m at work).
Happy autumn, my friends! I wanted to get out and take some photos of beautiful, crisp autumn scenery this weekend but it’s been raining all week and the only thing to take photos of is a heavy grey sky and wet leaves. And who wants to see photos of wet leaves? I hate wet leaves. They’re slippery and they stick to your shoe and if you kick a pile of them you’ll regret it.
I’m being a halloween scrooge this year, not participating in any festivities – I haven’t even purchased a pumpkin to deface! Which is probably an attitude quite common among the wider public but doesn’t sit well with my philosophy for celebrating every season and occasion. Oh well. If you don’t feel like celebrating then I suppose that’s fine – no one should force themselves to carve triangle eyes and a half moon mouth into a vegetable, especially when secret gourd artists suddenly appear all over facebook revealing their pumpkin rendition of Bruce Willis in Die Hard 2. Quite frankly it’s wasteful. Poor pumpkins.
Well anyway, I’ve learned to appreciate autumn (in spite of halloween). I wouldn’t like to live in a place without seasons, and I think we in the UK forget how beautiful our little island is and how amazing our spring and autumns are. Permanent summer would be boring, so with that logic one must appreciate the season even when it gets dark at five in the afternoon and wet leaves get stuck to your shoe.
It feels wrong to post a post without including any photos, so here are a couple I took earlier in the month before the rain came. If you’re feeling the autumn blues I highly recommend getting out for a walk in the countryside. Even if it’s raining! Nature always makes me feel better, plus I’m fortunate enough to live in the Westcountry – a beautiful place to experience autumn.