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That’s the Problem


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I’ve been thinking about my book a lot lately. Back in 2008 I finished writing and published a 120 page novel. In it, a disgruntled drug dealer, who sleeps a lot, learns he’s being blamed for the malfunctioning of the universe by an organisation that he’s never heard of before – because it doesn’t exist. Which means that he has to fix the universe.

What I’ve been thinking is that it is poorly written, full of mistakes, it’s drug-related content won’t appeal to anyone, and it’s pretty much an embarrassment. If I wrote it today it would be totally different.
I sometimes wonder whether I will do a re-written version, where I make it a bit better but keep the same story and the same jokes. But, on cynical days, I think I would change it beyond recognition and therefore render the effort pointless.
I guess that it the evolution of ‘art’. The creator of the ‘art’ moves on stylistically and philosophically and personally, so, of course their work will evolve. 2008 was bloody ages ago! But, how is one supposed to feel about work created eight years previous? Embarrassed, but accepting, because the work is out there are you can’t take it back or destroy it. Once it’s out there, it’s out there forever!

I’m not sure. In a (feeble) attempt to overcome my embarrassment, I am sharing with you now a few pages from the book. Chapter five – one of my favourites – and chapter six.

Click on the images below to make them REALLY BIG!
FIVE

SIX 1

SIX 2

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The Internet


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The internet is great, isn’t it? I think it’s the best thing about being alive in the 21st century. Well, apart from 21st century medicine – the scientific advances in medicine over the last 150 years are staggering. Let’s all take a moment to be glad for anaesthesia, and ibuprofen, and that so many diseases are actually curable these days.
Back to the internet: it’s hardly believable how much information is out there right at our fingertips. In fact, you’re reading this on the internet right now! You could be in the UK, like me, or in the Philippines, or in Iceland, or South Africa. You could be almost anywhere on the planet and be reading this. It’s incredible.
There is, of course, the dark side of the internet, about which I don’t want to go into detail today as I feel like keeping things light-hearted and fun. But I can’t simply glaze over the horrors of human trafficking or child pornography, or transnational terrorism or drug trafficking. All of these are possible in the 21st century thanks to the internet.
And then there’s all the crap that has to be sifted through in order to find the good, credible sources of information. There are the God-awful blogs with articles about the internet, all the pseudo-scientific opinionated gibberish that is sometimes dangerously convincing. The keyboard warriors who are afforded an opinion – which should be a good thing, everyone is entitled to an opinion after all. But these people abuse their right to a voice and use it to spread fear, or hate, or to criticise others for no reason.

However, as we know, there are great things on the internet. Ordinary people doing funny, creative things. Huge inside jokes that reference something that has happened in this mind-boggling virtual space.
Memes, for example.
Those little photos with captions on them written in ‘Impact’ font. Anything can become a meme. You could become a meme. In fact, you could already be a meme. Of course, most of them are terrible, misspelled, nonsense made by some loon and, like with everything else on the ‘net, you have to sift through the seemingly endless crap to find a good one. But, man, when you do find a good one, it is wonderful.

There are far, far, far too many ones out there to include in one post, but I’ve compiled a short list of my favourites – the ones I can remember, anyway, and I’ve excluded the obvious ones like Grumpy Cat, who actually has his own website.

Take, for example, Nicholas Cage’s face on things, which has acquired its own facebook page.
This one might be my favourite firstly because of the utter abstractness of it, I mean, take a look at this. But also because I can’t stand Nicholas Cage – I mean, has he ever done a good movie?

Then there is the Ridiculously Photogenic Guy and his Spinoffs. I love this because it’s an example of that magical meme thing that happens when a seemingly ordinary, innocent photo has meaning added to it and then gets totally out of hand. I love this one also because the whole ‘Ridiculously Photogenic’ series is just great.

The Scarlett Johansson Falling Down memes also got out of hand, but, man, were they great.

Lastly, there are the ‘Pssst’ memes. Now, unfortunately, as is so often the case with stuff on the ‘net, you have to wade through the rubbish ones to get the gold nugget meme that is actually funny. A quick google search demonstrates this. But then you find it. And that makes it all better.

Can you think of a funnier meme? Post it in the comments box below, so we can all have a good laugh and feel better about ourselves.

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Bella Lucia


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I actually have a complaint I need to get off my chest. No one likes a complainer, least of all me, so I’ll keep it brief. You may have noticed my domain name (the title of this site). Well,  someone stole my name – Bella Lucia – so my dreams of owning the glorious bellalucia.wordpress.com were cruelly shattered when I discovered someone is already using this name. It gets worse.
This person stole my name and then preceded to do absolutely nothing with it. I would invite you to check out the offending blog but then I would be directing undeserved traffic to this God-awful site. It’s just one page, written in the middle is ‘Lucia’s journey from fat to fit’. And that’s it.
Blasphemy! Stealing my name to create a site and then not using it. If you’re not going to use it then at least give it back so that someone else can make use of the name. Especially someone who is actually called Bella Lucia. There isn’t even a comment box in which to leave feedback.
It was with this irk that I created theonebellalucia.wordpress.com, and so now you know the story. Maybe one day I’ll be able to have my name back.

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Hello


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Well hello there! I welcome you to my new blog, which is the new internet-based home for my writing. “Why have a new blog?” I hear you ask, “What was wrong with the old one?” 
That’s a good question, and the answer is that time passes and things change. Even though I still enjoy reading the old blog and reading old pieces of my work, there comes a time when we need to move on and create something new. Old writing offers an interesting archive into my former self; a time capsule of my life and thoughts at that time. But I have changed since the creation of my first blog – four years ago now – and my writing has changed. It’s nice to start things anew every now and then, to celebrate the changes that have taken place and the wisdom I’ve gained. A fresh, up to date blog with an exciting new look is a nice way to do this and represents a space for new ideas and new adventures! 
If you miss the old blog, you can still reach it here. It will continue to quietly hang in internet space for us all to visit from time to time. 
So there we have it! Fresh blog, fresh post and fresh mind for good ideas.