I don’t have a home any more. I’m a rule-abiding outlaw, a stationary wanderer, glamorously slumming it as a resident of nowhere. People find this hard to accept; of course you have a home, Bella, everyone has a home. It’s true, though. This isn’t to make some sort of political statement, renouncing my affiliation with any particular nation to declare myself a cosmopolitan citizen of the world, and neither am I trying to sound edgy to align myself with the hipster digital nomad crew so I can sit with them at lunch. I actually think having a home is severely underrated, as I will shortly explain.(more…)
Astonishingly, not only do I genuinely have a bucket list – an amalgamation of disparate things that I want to experience or achieve in my life – I’ve actually done a lot of things on that list. At some point last year I emerged in a billow of steam from the sauna of everyday life, pleasantly dazed and lavishly embellished with a fluffy towel, long enough to realise that I’d done so many of the things that I would have to make a new list.(more…)
As an alarming global pandemic sweeps through every nation like a brisk autumn wind we have all found ourselves, alas, with a lot of time to kill. Except, of course, medical professionals who have all kinds of apocalyptic hell on their hands, and may we all utter a silent optionally religious prayer for those poor, overworked souls. What I have on my hands, apart from residue of soap and hand sanitiser, is the abrupt void of nothingness that comes with a mandatory government-enforced holiday to write all the articles I never got around to at the time when they happened and, boy, do you have some delightful reminiscing coming your way, my dear reader. Let me fetch my half moon glasses, recline suitably in my chesterfield armchair, and take you via a progressively blurry scene transition all the way back to seven months ago when I went snowboarding for the first time.(more…)
I’m what you might disdainfully refer to as a ‘traveller’, and since I’ve become stranded in truly the worst place on planet earth – New Zealand’s South Island – by a virus sweeping the globe faster than you can say “Don’t lick that door handle,” I clearly have nothing better to do than erroneously proclaim myself an expert on this brand new (ish) COVID-19 thing. Due to my newfound internet-based wealth of coronavirus knowledge, plus 819 days and counting on the road, I am clearly well positioned to advise other travellers on what to do during a pandemic, as well as people who aren’t travelling, or in fact anyone bored enough to read this article. So sit back, grab your hand sanitiser and allow me to guide you through what was once the stuff of Hollywood movies but is now your foreseeable future.(more…)
Ahh, 2010. The year David Cameron was elected Prime Minister, 33 Chileans were rescued from a mine, and Inception was released. Who’d have thought ten years after Christopher Nolan’s huge blockbuster infiltrated our cinemas people would still have no idea what it’s about.
2010 was the year I moved, bright eyed and full of ambition, to the big city from my rural hatching place. Ambition that was soon crushed, alas, by economic turmoil, the world seemingly in free fall from the 2008 Global Financial Crisis, as well as the crippling self-doubt of young adulthood, which was a joyful time. Still, the 2010s were considerably better than the 2000s, with those ugly and impractical low waisted ‘hipster’ jeans, the so-called War on Terror, and, worse, Britney Spears all over the radio. What a strange decade it was.
Nonetheless, as we edge tentatively into 2020, allow me to strain my memory, dimly recall what I’ve been doing all this time, and thus present to you something you had no idea you needed in your life: Bella’s completely objective review of the last ten years. Grab a beverage and your comedy ‘2020’ party sunglasses, and prepare yourself for a slightly depressing but ultimately redeeming trip down memory lane as I rate the 2010s a mediocre, though not terrible, 3 out of 5 stars.
Ah, yes, the great philosophical principles of life. Confucianism, Just War theory, Altruism, Human Rights, Feminism… and YOLO. People laugh when I rationalise my undertakings with a casual shrug and a simple, “YOLO”. They laugh because it’s amusing, and perhaps a bit unexpected, to use dubious internet terminology to guide important decisions in life like entering a half marathon, dying my hair radical new colours, and making plans for my future. Things weren’t always this way, though. What started out as someone’s semi-serious joke at my expense, challenging me to exit my mundane, cautious existence has become a doctrine so integrated into my life that I can’t imagine going back to whatever it was that I was doing before I ate YOLO for breakfast.(more…)
Once upon a time, in a land bobbing serenely in the Pacific far, far away from home and, let’s be honest, just about anything, an Englishwoman pondered the fate of her politically turbulent homeland. I don’t often think about Brexit these days, mostly because it isn’t shoved obnoxiously in my face by unrelenting media outlets on a daily basis here in New Zealand as it is in the UK and also because I’ve adopted a bury my head in the sand approach to worldly affairs, which, if history has taught us anything, is a terrible way to deal with political unrest.
Oh hey there, welcome back. If you’ve just joined us, have a seat. We’re doing something different in this episode of Bella’s Odyssey. We’re departing the present moment to amble down the narrow path through the forest of time, between moss-covered trees and overgrown shrubs way back to my roots, not quite where it all began but somewhere along the way. We’re parting the fern fronds of my character to peer with the curiosity and wonder of a more politically correct 19th century explorer at what has influenced me not just as a writer but also as a human.(more…)